Brilliant Rain

It was one of those consults you roll your eyes at. The emergency doc on the other end of the phone, "yeah, she's 22 and has quite a bit of vaginal bleeding, I haven't seen her yet but I was wondering if you wanted to take a look."

Uh... is she pregnant? Is it her period? Anything else you know? Maybe you could examine her and give me a call back.

I only had about 52 other things on my to-do list. It was a crazy night, several women in labour as well as a total of seven consults from the emergency department... and I didn't have a junior resident on with me... you forget how nice that is.

She was 22 but could have been 16. Terrified, and yes, bleeding heavily, passing large clots. The livery sight of which brought her to tears. She passed out from the blood loss in fact. I examined her, packed things solidly to taper the bleeding a bit and called the OR right away.

It had been her second sexual experience and she had a gruesome vaginal tear. Her first experience had been the week before, which involved a trip to the pharmacy for Plan B. Needless to say, it was a fairly critical time for us to talk about sexual practices, birth control, STDs, basically everything. Understandably she was anxious and scared, adamant that none of her friends that had brought her in find out.

After the repair in the OR, although I was saddened by the circumstances around the situation I felt like I had actually contributed something. That I had not only sewn up a physical need but soothed emotional pain as well. It was the first moment in a long long time that I was again glad I was where I was and who I was, doing this residency slog.

I crashed for most of the day. Woke feeling extraordinarily disgusting and went for an equally nauseating run in the rain. I was just going out to buy a red onion for supper (thats not the ONLY thing I ate, don't worry) and although the rain continued, the sun low on the horizon broke through the clouds. Rains drops shimmered through the air and a brilliant rainbow curved its arch across the sky. The fluorescent fuschia, orange, and yellow leaves glistened in the delicious evening light. It was a promise in the sky.

Strangely as I gazed at the sky (with red onion in hand) my exhaustion turned into a sense of accomplished contentedness.