Sunday, December 13, 2009

Leaky Ladies

I've just finished up two months of urogynecology. I feel completely stress free. Its amazing how different areas of medicine are. The daily emotional stress I'm used to dealing with went from a hundred to zero. One rotation the bad news you break to people alters their life forever, but the next well... they already know the bad news.

I'm sorry Mrs. Smith, we have some bad news... you're leaking urine when you cough.

Uh yes... I'm aware of that.

The good news is... we can fix it!

That's how it goes. End of story. No broken baby, no cancer, no infertility, just a little fixable leakage. Of course its more interesting than that, there are plenty of ladies with an inside-out vagina after a few vaginal deliveries, or a uterus that fell out and is terribly annoying as it bangs between their legs when they walk. But guess what? We can fix that too! We just pull it back in and tack it to your sacrum...pretty fantastic, don't you think?

Although I really do enjoy the surgical aspects of urogynecology I must admit, there were some perfect quotes from nameless attendings that I am unlikely to miss.

"Some people call us vaginal plastic surgeons, but I prefer to call it origami of the vagina." [I commented to my attending that this should be the title of their next book.]

and

"Now, I supposed gallbladder surgeons think that gall bladders are lovely as well, but although not everyone thinks so, I think vaginas are beautiful, and they should be respected."

Oh dear...

And now I move from the incontinent to the infertile.