We've Got a Bleeder!

Helpful Hint #216

When an 8-year old zips his foreskin into his zipper there are some important points to remember:

1. Do not panic.
2. Do not just unzip it.
   
3. Do not look the father in the eye.
4. Do not make comments involving anything remotely like: 'good thing you're not Jewish, you never know what you might have caught in there!'
   
5. Give pain control (morphine, tylenol won't cut it).
6. Get bandage scissors and cut the jeans in a large semicircle starting at the waistband and going around the crotch.
7. Cut straight across the top of the zipper so the zipper easily falls open.
8. Apply pressure.
9. Suggest sweatpants for the next few days.

If gave me a flashback of the opening scene from Something About Mary. I'm just learning so many useful and relevant new things every day.